Parenting: The Most Complex Task in Human Experience

Author: Kiera Donna Laike, IRW

So, where to begin? My parenting of my son, my students, and my dogs has always begun in the same fashion - with being and meeting them: I call this “Being Met.”

I sense into their being and adjust myself and meet them. In all my classes I teach the practice of meeting and being met. Yet still it remains foreign to most. It took my bringing the 13 Energetic Stages of human energetic development for students to begin to understand. (See Stage 02,https://www.energeticdevelopment.com/stage02)

When parents have all of themselves, they are able to meet the child in their uniqueness and complexity, without looking for something back. 

Parents feel overwhelmed, embarrassed, judgmental, altruistic and much more.

If a child displays a behavior they do not know how to meet, they often shut them in their room…

Here’s a text from earlier today about a couple of moms who lock their kids in their room until they give up trying to get out. The text is from a mom who is a student of mine, working to “meet” her children:

I was just at the park with a couple of other moms and my daughter was tired because she cried a lot at the park because she was being messed with by other children. And one of the moms asked if she was going to have quiet time or nap time in her room when we got home. I said she would probably have quiet time but that she likely won’t stay in her room. And then they said something to me that blew my mind. She said, “Well why don’t you just buy a lock for her door and lock her in there?”  I was so shocked I didn’t know what to say at first. Finally, I said, “I think that would really freak her out and upset her, she would just cry nonstop.” And she said, “Oh yeah, they do, but eventually they stop even trying to open the door.” My heart broke and I felt sick after that. The worst part was, both moms said they did it to their kids and they were so proud of themselves, thinking this was some amazing parenting tool, even boasting that it shows them ‘Mom means business’. But really, locking their child in their bedroom just conditioned their child’s brain to stay locked in their prison cell.  

Due to the fact that as humans we have all experienced being controlled, parents resort to methods of controlling their children. Having control over another emerging soul, when that soul is our own child, does not ultimately end well.

Children who are forced into compliance lose a sense of self-regulation.  In other words, this lack of development of self-regulation can lead to anxiety, the development of repetitive negative thoughts or inattention. This then affects the brain development, often causing psychology to diagnose these behaviors as ADD, ADHD, OCD or, as an anxiety disorder.

In the past new ways of parenting have kept popping up, because none teach the parent how to “meet” their child. For example, one of the latest methods tells you the child should talk about their feelings: “Let’s use feeling words and talk our way out of what is wrong.” 

When parents are overwhelmed with their children’s feelings, they have their children sit down and talk about it: “Let’s use feeling words.” Last time I checked, feelings are not thoughts or words, they are full body vestibular experiences.  How is the parent to meet this without their own grasp of their vestibular feelings?

I know all parents long to be the best. Begin the 13 Stages of Energetic Development and evolve into being able to meet the uniqueness of your child’s soul essence. Learn, how to meet and be met, so you can “meet your child.”